[She pauses, trying to figure out the best way to phrase it.]

Sometimes, people don't apologize because they're sorry. They apologize because they think they're supposed to. And once they say they're sorry, they'll get forgiven and they don't actually have to think about what they did anymore.

[It's a matter of social scripts, not sincerity.]

But forgiveness is a lot more complicated than that. It's not something you owe anyone. It's something they have to earn by actually changing their behavior.